urgh

Still here. As pregnant as I have ever been.

A number of adjectives could accurately describe me at this point.

Lumbering.

Haggard.

Awkward.

Ungainly.

Huge.

Overflowing.

And I don't mean to complain. I don't want to complain. I want to revel in every ounce of discomfort because this is such a freaking miracle. This little boy inside of me. This stubborn little guy who so wanted to be here that he crawled into my bitter uterus and hung on. Who fails NST's every single week just so that he can run up my insurance and flirt with the u/s techs either downstairs or at the hospital. (By the way, I think they're on to me. I don't actually fail the NST's, I just go to the hospital so that I can watch "The Real Housewives" with the antepartum nurses).

And I don't want it to be over. I am truly afraid of the sleep deprivation and crying (mine and his) to come all too soon.

But here come more adjectives...

Cumbersome

Enormous

Even my boobs have grown in the past few weeks(even more than they already had). I've all the sudden developed old lady boobs. And the baby has dropped, causing all of my pants to suddenly be low-riders, quite scary for anyone behind me when I have to squat down or bend over. I haven't looked at my rear lately, but it was quite frightening last time I glimpsed it accidentally, and I've elected to not go there again. So while I can now breathe (as baby is not nestled in between my lungs), I can now no longer walk. It has helped me to prioritize at work, consolidating all of my tasks so that I walk down the hallway as little as possible, but the incessant peeing counteracts all of the prioritizing. There are the moments of profound discomfort while walking that have led to the mental image I have of the baby, nestled in between my pubic bones, with a little sharpened spoon, jabbing away, trying to tunnel his way out. And there's the end of the day, when I lay on the bed, and feel all of the aches and protests from my body, tired from carrying all this weight around all day.

But you know what? I'm as happy as I have ever been. I've got what I wanted. Husband and I are doing really well, working as partners, getting along, flirting. And Danny is just a joy. And we're having another one. Our family will be complete. I'm as happy as I've ever been.